Healing the Holiday Blues

The Christmas lights are shining, beautiful trees everywhere. Hanukkah candles are being lit. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Easter, Thanksgiving and all holidays are difficult for many. People are shopping, together, smiling and laughing. All the beautiful scarves, jewelry, watches, toys and gifts people are buying. And you are hurting, maybe even feeling badly that others are happy and you are not. Thousands of people are sad and lonely during holiday times when the expectation is that happiness and togetherness is the norm. When it doesn’t feel that way to you, you might doubt yourself, question yourself, or even judge yourself. Maybe you are going through a divorce, or just moved to a new home away from friends and family or you might have lost your job. Maybe a loved one, a very important person in your life, died recently, or even last year. Or you might be ill or alone in life.

Many people in our world deal with depression. Depression often can be triggered and become more acute because of the expectations of the holidays. There are many reasons that someone may be having a difficult time during Christmas or any other holiday. And it sometimes is hard to know what to do to comfort yourself or find relief from the pain you are feeling and the joy others seem to be having.

Here are some suggestions:

• Check out your expectations. Are they realistic? Are you buying into what’s being pushed without believing it? Maybe you are turned off by the commercialism of Christmas. It’s okay to change your traditions. If you don’t feel that you can do things the same this year, switch it up. Do something different this year. Some people decide to go away to a different environment for Christmas instead of putting up a tree and staying home. Or you might decide to stay home and not put up a Christmas tree.
• Set boundaries with the people you do not want to spend time with. If you feel you must show up to a family event but aren’t looking forward to it, limit your time. You can put a limit on how much you spend and stick to it.
• Make plans with friends - maybe put together a small community dinner with friends. Or you could offer your time serving food at a homeless shelter. Many cities, big and small, put on dinners for the community during special holidays. They often need people who will deliver meals to others who cannot get to the dinner themselves. Wisdom has shown that helping others when we feel down, helps to elevate our moods. It feels good to give to others, especially when we feel ungiven to.
• Find ways to comfort yourself if feeling lonely, depressed or sad. Reach out to a friend, talk about your feelings.  Don’t be ashamed or think you are bothering someone by sharing your feelings.  Remember?  It helps people to help others.  Just having someone listen to you can go a long way.  If your depression is very difficult for you to handle alone, talk to a therapist.  Or if you have a spiritual or religious person you trust, talk to them.  If we keep depression to ourselves it can grow.   If you don’t talk about your thoughts they will grow in you internally and take on a life of their own. But if you talk to someone and let out the darkness and pain you are feeling, you often have more room for light and hope.  Thoughts are energy so we need to be very careful about what we do with our thoughts. It is dangerous to feed negative thoughts, or to let them control how we believe and act.
• How about going to a movie that inspires you or makes you laugh. Laughter is good medicine and research shows it improves mood and even health. I once took a “laughter workshop”. We learned that even “forced” or “simulated” laughter affects the body and mind. The body cannot tell the difference between someone laughing spontaneously or someone making themselves laugh. I have used this technique in my life many times when I was feeling a little down. I remember once walking down the stairs in my home and just starting to laugh for no apparent reason. I did it to change my mood and it worked.
• Make yourself a cup of tea and sit with a good novel. Reading fiction can transport you to a different place. You can live in someone else’s world for a while
• Having a pet is always a good cure for loneliness and sadness. They are always there and they love you unconditionally.
• Make a gratitude list. This may sound counter-intuitive but it can be very helpful to change your mood. Sit quietly and think about the things you can be grateful for. This has you focusing on the positives in your life. Giving yourself the room to feel gratitude changes your energy to a higher vibration.